When it comes to squeezing money out of a bidder, few have played hard to get as effectively as SABMiller.
The London-listed brewer of Peroni and Grolsch beers forced its Brazilian-Belgian suitor Anheuser-Busch InBev to make four different takeover proposals, and put up the price of its offer each time.
It was only after four weeks of frantic statements and counterstatements that SAB finally rolled over — this week recommending a £44-per share cash offer from its larger rival. This £68bn deal will create the world’s first super brewer, responsible for one in every three beers sold globally.
In time-honoured fashion, the language SAB and its advisers used during the four-week battle was sometimes harsh, but what the brewer said was not always what it meant.
Below, the FT’s cryptographers have decoded what SAB was really saying.
“The board will review and respond as appropriate to any proposal which might be made.”
You’re kidding, right? At that price, we aren’t even going to bother with a board meeting.
“ABInBev’s proposal very substantially undervalues our company.”
We weren’t entirely sure how much our company was worth until ABInBev showed up. Now, we’re certain it’s worth seven times the original valuation. Funnily enough, our advisers think so, too.
“This company is the crown jewel of the global beer industry.”
Don’t let on that the beardy hipsters won’t touch our watery beer any more.
“We are uniquely positioned to generate decades of standalone future volume and value growth for all our shareholders from highly attractive markets.”
We have no strategy. So we’ll just keep saying “growth”.
“We are continuing to remove duplication across markets, bringing specialist expertise in areas like procurement under one roof and standardising common processes.”
McKinsey told us to say that.
“Another key plank of our strategy is to build a globally integrated organisation to optimise resource, win in market and reduce costs.”
Yeah, all that stuff. And don’t forget “growth”. Have they bid higher yet?
“We have increased our target cost savings. . . from US$500m by 31 March 2018 to at least US$1.05bn by 2020.”
There goes the expense account.
“The statements of estimated cost savings relate to future actions and circumstances which, by their nature, involve risks, uncertainties and contingencies.”
And the expense account is back!
“This bid is purely opportunistic.”
Our advisers haven’t quite finished working out our defence.
“We do business in a way that improves livelihoods and helps build communities.”
Poor people in poor countries love our beer. We should be up for the Nobel.
“The Boards of AB InBev and SABMiller have reached agreement in principle on the key terms of a possible recommended offer.”
Stuff beer, where’s the champagne?